I don’t know how you sum up the experience of knowing Thomas Miloscia. I don’t know how you convey with words how much a person means to you. I met Tom long after many people. Although I knew him for what seemed like so short a time. He touched my heart and became my Best friend. Tom and I spent hours talking till 3am about his cancer about faith, about everything. I would have been thankful for just one chance to speak to him. I was blessed to have many more conversations. No matter what Tom was going through he always put others before him, he was selfless, loving and encouraging. I do not believe I will ever again meet anyone quite like this man. My sister was diagnosed with cancer at the age of just four years old- I was born shortly after and so I have never known a life that was not affected by cancer. I never thought that a negative experience would create a connection between two people. Tom and I openly talked about his cancer. To so many others it was an alter ego. He shared so much with me and I only hope I gave him something in return. I remember when he told me that he had relapsed. I just cried out the words “why Tom?”. And while I hope that one day no one will ever hear the words ‘your child has cancer’, Thomas was the last person on earth that should have gone through such an ordeal. I remember talking with Tom when he was going back and forth to Baltimore. Of the many things I learned about Tom, what touched me the most was his rapport with his mother. I know he felt indebted to her and adored her beyond what you could imagine. I only met his mother once but she emanates the same strength I saw in Tom. The first day I spent with Tom I was amazed and inspired by this man who captivated so many people. With his wit and love he has immersed himself into my life and impressed my heart. I will never stop talking of, thinking of- I will never stop adoring such an incredible man. He was an absolute gift. I long for the moment when we can all see him again. Although we all want him here and we can’t help but misunderstand why Tom’s life did not continue. we know that he is experiencing joy beyond what we can comprehend. Heaven is more real than this life, more true than what we call reality. The only peace I can find is that Tom is whole and is with the One who makes all things new. Tom’s relationship with Jesus and his undying faith give hope to so many people. He is a testimony to how we should all live. Tom, I know that if you would want anyone to know anything it would be how important Jesus was to you and how to love others well. Tom and I spoke of a girl named Melanie who he had been walking through alternative treatment. She had passed away some time in September and it really hurt Him. He said to me,
” I know death is just the next gateway to life and all that, but it wasn’t her time to go. I gotta help people like me and her who get dealt a bad hand. that’s what I have to do, ya know?”.
I know that Tom wished so badly to help find a cure. He knew what it was to have his life flipped upside down. Cancer affects the patient, the families and all those that surround them. It sculpts us into people that understand more deeply, it teaches us to live passionate lives. We were talking about losing those close to us and I’ll never forget that he said to me,
“Dealing with death is just a terrible thing… I don’t think it’s as terrible if you pass away because it’s not the end, but for the family it’s just so hard. And it’s so hard not to get caught up in the what ifs.”
I don’t believe Tom ever wished to be separate from the ones he loved, there was so much he wanted to do. Yet he was at peace with the thought of no longer being present here. It is very clear we will be with him again but the time without him is just excruciating. My prayers and my heart are with his family whom I know he loved with all he had. Thomas passed away on what was also my 18th birthday (which knowing Tom he would have felt bad about it.) I sat there in disbelief that this person we all love was no longer with us on this earth. All I could say was ‘no’. I did not want for the sun to rise on the next day knowing I wouldn’t have another conversation with my best friend, knowing we’d all have to continue. I did not want to feel that deep a pain… I knew pain was not all I had. I have the memories, I have the hope that we will all be with Tom. We just have to wait a little while. In the meantime I think of him every day. I try to live my life doing things that honor what he strived for. I walk through this life remembering the words we exchanged the jokes we had and the love and friendship we shared. It’s is something I will treasure in my heart for eternity. One week prior to Thomas going to be with Jesus he had said to me these words, ” hope you’re great, missing you, friend” and I can honestly say that for as long as I live, I will be “missing you, friend.” As I am sure all of us always will.

All my love,

Christa Ruth